Social Media Policy

Dear Patrons, 


The world of companionship has changed a lot over the last 5 years. I'm grateful to the rise of social media for providing more dynamic and spontaneous platforms where you can get to know me before meeting me, or feel connected to me between the times we share in person. 


However, I have become concerned about several aspects of these interactions, most notably privacy for us both. We live in a world of Trump and Theresa May, a world where in many jurisdictions legislation regarding our interactions changes swiftly, and usually in a less liberal direction. Companies which own our data also rarely act in the interests of privacy, as this runs contrary to profiting from it. 


For these reasons, I've taken some serious time to think about how my social media works and how I can best take care of our mutual interests. I'd like you to be aware of the following: 


  • I no longer use Facebook in a professional or public capacity. Should you believe yourself to have stumbled on any presence of mine on Facebook, avert your eyes.


Twitter : 

  • I will not follow any public client accounts. I may check your feed from time to time but I'm honestly concerned for the privacy of clients maintaining unlocked accounts. 
  • If you have a locked account and you wish me to follow, I am happy to do so, but I won't 'like' your tweets or reply to them publicly, for your privacy. 
  • You're still welcome to follow me, whichever type of account you choose, but please refrain from commenting in a way which suggests we have met/meet/will meet, in a specific or even unspecific way. eg: 
  • appropriate : "That dress is lovely" 
  • inappropriate: "Can you wear that dress when we meet next week?" 
  • I now encourage clients to make more use of the DM function on twitter to interact with me regarding any content I post. I don't promise an instant response but I will respond, whereas I now won't if you post in the feed itself. 
  • For your privacy and security, I'll delete DMs from you at least once a fortnight, or after meeting if they refer directly to arrangements. I'd like you to do the same. 


  • You probably know already that I'm a voracious reader and I hold accounts with both Goodreads and Pocket, both of which have social functions. Please think carefully about following me on either of these platforms, although I do use them to track my literary consumption, which may or may not interest you.
  • My intention is to start using an Instagram account in the next few months, and I'll broadly adhere to the guidelines I outlined above for twitter.
  • please hard delete or carefully hide any material pertaining to me in any capacity (photos, emails, twitter) when you cross any border where you may be detained (eg the US unless you are a citizen) or in any eg. activist situation where your devices may be confiscated -and likewise please use a numerical passcode to lock the devices you use to communicate with me rather than using fingertip verification if you risk your device being removed by law enforcement. 


I'm happy to discuss any of the above with you when we meet in person. If you have work, family, legal or any other reason to be concerned about internet security, I'm also happy to talk through how I cope with our ever-changing technology and recommend further reading on the matter. The most useful information I have obtained comes from people with the most at stake in this matter- my colleagues; outspoken activists on matters of gender and sexuality; and those opposing our current governments.


Thank you for your attention and thank you for respecting my boundaries around this. Please do remember that both of us have a stake in keeping our relationship confidential, and therefore responsibilities in how we protect each other, online as in person. I will continue to educate myself about the best ways to do this and I'll update you with any further changes.